


(Un)Healthy Love

by Miss_Vanderwaal



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 17:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10223273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Vanderwaal/pseuds/Miss_Vanderwaal
Summary: What if Mona had realized on her own that there was something wrong with the way she loved Hanna? What if Hanna's faith in her had been capable of making her seek help at the right time?





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a version of a particular Vandermarin scene in 2x01 that I've been dying to write for ages.

   Noel surely had a nice smile, Mona had to admit, and he hadn’t talked so much about himself during that particular dinner, which was always appreciated, but something just wasn’t sitting right in Mona’s stomach, and somehow she was sure it had nothing to do with the food.

   As soon as Hanna strutted into the little restaurant, wearing a beautiful red scarf around her neck but the harshest expression on her face, Mona knew precisely what that feeling of hers was about.  

\- I’m really sorry to interrupt but I just wanted to let you know that I have quite a big bone to pick with you – Hanna stated in a low and cold tone, gazing from Noel to Mona as she reached the middle of her sentence.

   Mona suddenly felt as if her blood was freezing inside her veins. She and Hanna had never gotten into a serious fight before and the simple thought of Hanna being mad at her like that scared the hell out of her.

\- What are you talking about, sweetie? – she asked, shakily, after glancing apologetically at Noel.

\- The letter – Hanna shot back, raising her voice just a bit. – I know about the letter. The one Caleb left for me. The one you never gave me, _sweetie._

   The weight of the irony in that last word was like a knife going through Mona’s chest. She stayed silent, starting to have a slight trouble to breathe.

\- God, I thought you were my friend – the blonde shook her head in apparent disgust and turned around to leave.

   Although Mona wanted to cry out Hanna’s name in a plea, she just sat there with tears in her eyes, incapable of moving. Her biggest fear on Earth had come true right before her and yet she didn’t have the strenght to get up and fight to try and make it unreal again.

   After glancing at the door, Noel sighed, not as if he was annoyed by the situation, but as if he was… _worried_.

\- Go fix it – he said to Mona.

   A sole tear streaked down Mona’s right cheek and she wiped it, raising her gaze to the boy.

\- What?

\- Well, you’re obviously not okay and I’d feel bad knowing that I kept you from explaining yourself to her.

   Mona stared at her date for a second. She had always thought of Noel as a hot lacrosse player with zero personality, but at that moment he was showing her a level of maturity that she hadn’t prepared herself for. She almost smiled, thinking she could kiss Noel for being so understanding, but instead she pulled a few bills from her purse, which covered her half of dinner and a pretty generous tip, and rose from her chair.

\- Thank you – she said to Noel and ran to the door of the restaurant.

   Hanna had one foot on the curb and the other on the street already, but Mona did cry out her name this time. Hanna turned to the brunette. 

\- I am your friend, okay? – Mona assured her, walking decidedly towards her. – That’s why I did it. No one has ever hurt you the way that he did and I couldn’t give him the chance to do it again.

   It was a lie, but one that Mona told herself in a regular basis ever since the incident with the letter, so, at that point, she actually believed in it.

\- Still, you had no right to make that decision for me – Hanna said, not sounding so stern anymore, but mainly hurt.

\- I know – Mona relaxed just a bit, thinking that maybe she had a chance of not losing her best friend. – I’m really sorry, Han. If I could take it back, I would.

\- Well, you can’t.

   With that, Hanna turned unexpectedly away, not aiming at crossing the street anymore, but still moving away from Mona at a fast pace.

   Now alone, with slightly parted lips and widened eyes, the brunette panicked. Her one and only safe place to land was walking out of her life and, God forbid, it could be forever.

\- I’m a crazy, jealous bitch – Mona cried out again, practically sobbing, but this time it felt like the most truthful thing she had ever gotten out of her chest.

   Hanna stopped a few feet away from Mona and turned to face her once again.

\- What was that?

   Mona tried to breathe deeply through the tightness in her chest.

\- I see you with him… – she began, once the blonde was standing before her – and I know I should be happy for you, because that was how my mom raised me. To be empathetic. But I… I can’t. That happiness is right around the corner, I know it is, and for some reason I can’t reach it.

\- Well, we’re right back where we started, then. You hate my boyfriend for absolutely no reason.

   Mona managed to actually smile.

\- Didn’t you hear the word _jealous?_ – she looked into Hanna’s gorgeous blue eyes, and suddenly there was nothing but serenity inside of her – I hate him not only because he touches you in the way I want to touch you, but also because he gets to whisper in your ear that he loves you, while I don’t.

   She watched as Hanna’s breath got caught up in her throat.

\- I mean, of course I don’t like Sian and Lucas – she continued –, but it’s different with Caleb. It might last. And it scares me because I already feel that you’re being pulled away from me by that Brady bunch of yours.

   Then, Mona was cut off by the warmth of Hanna’s arms around her. It felt like a comfort she didn’t deserve, but soon enough she allowed herself to melt into her most favorite embrace.

\- You’ve said it yourself yesterday – Mona whispered while feeling Hanna’s heart beating against hers. – You miss how easy things used to be. So do I.

\- I do miss it – Hanna began sliding both of her palms across Mona’s back, and the brunette felt tears of joy gathering up inside her eyes this time. – But missing something never brings it back.

\- Why? – Mona insisted, childlike, but it was more likely a question to the universe in general, so the blonde stayed silent for a considerably long time.

   They were still standing on the edge of the wide sidewalk, comfortably grasped onto one another. Mona, with her eyes closed, heard people and cars passing by them, but it was as if the world had stopped right then, just for them.

\- I want you to go see someone about this – Hanna told her once they disentangled from each other, a little more sternly, but almost as a mother. – What you’re feeling is not healthy. And I mean the possessiveness part, not the love part.

   Mona gave Hanna a small smile, at first not putting a lot of thought into the blonde’s comment regarding therapy – not that the possibility hadn’t ever entered her own mind.

\- Really? It doesn’t freak you out that I love you like sketchy boy does?

   Hanna smiled as well, coyly, taking Mona’s hands delicately in her own.

\- The only thing that freaks me out is you talking about hating people you hardly know. And even if you knew them, hate doesn’t take anyone anywhere. It just sickens people. And I don’t wanna lose you to that feeling, Mona. So promise me you’ll take care of yourself.

   Mona tucked a few strands of Hanna’s hair behind her ear, purposely getting lost in that sea of blue inside her eyes for a moment.

\- How do you do that? – she asked, brushing her thumbs against the back of Hanna’s hands – How do you make me lose my senses in one minute and then make me feel as sane as ever in the next?

   Hanna shrugged, seemingly just taking Mona’s declarations in and not trying to discredit them in any way.

\- I don’t wanna make you lose your senses, though. Promise me you’ll get some help. Please.

   That last word made Mona’s heart ache with guilt even more. She held Hanna’s left hand and kissed it ever so gently, realizing that her own feelings no longer embarrassed her.

\- I’d do anything for you.

   Hanna smiled, moving the same hand away from Mona’s and caressing the brunette's cheek.

\- I know.

   Mona closed her eyes again, in appreciation of that touch.

\- But, for now – the blonde sighed –, I say we go get some ice cream or something equally sugared. We can talk about anything you want.  

   Mona smiled as well, agreeing and feeling some peerless peace taking over her. That kind of tranquility, or sanity, only took place inside of her when Hanna was around. But, as the two of them began pacing slowly towards the nearest ice cream place, with linked arms, Mona began having faith in her future therapist.

   Maybe a professional would actually help her not to be dependent on Hanna like that. Maybe they would teach her how to generate her own sanity. And maybe, just maybe, they would make her understand that love in its true form, healthy love, had nothing to do with a person being jealous or possessive, but everything to do with a person simply being grateful for someone else’s existence. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just imagine that, in a parallel universe, a moment like that could've actually prevented Mona from getting dangerously sick. 
> 
> I honestly love creating possibilities like that in my stories because I feel that it's the kind of respect that Mona deserved.


End file.
